MY DIARY SESSION

Henlo!🙃

I think I'm not fine. I'm okay but I'm not fine.

Okay; I'm breathing, I'm healthy and in good condition 

Fine? No, my mind is a huge mush pit; almost a vortex because every damned and beautiful memory is being sucked in every day.

I do hope my bone of contention is as disarrayed as I am if not na to burn down Aso Rock😂😂. Buhari go taste my warth🙃. BTW if you have your PVC do well to vote well, posterity will thank you.

A lot is wrong with me but first off to my fellow women, sọ ra fun ọkùnrin!!!

Men can stain your white in style, grand style🥲.

Also to men, women would do you dirty.

Make nobody talk say I no warn them oooo! I will not be responsible 🤭.

I'm in a tight place. Hope it isn't like that for you people? 

I'm happy and sad. I ended my long term relationship because I guess it was easier to run away than to face problems. I still stayed friends with them because I cherish them a lot as a friend too but things started to go haywire.  I am very sure they don't want to talk to me anymore for whatever reason which I'm oblivious of. Don't ask me how I jumped into conclusion, it is what it is.

And that's what has thrown me into this weird phase I found myself. I'm aloof and concerned at the same time.

"They must be busy"

"Busy? E no just wan follow me talk"

"They are sad too"

"Sad ke? Pesin wey sad no go dey follow another person talk now"

"I don't even know again"

"Èmi ọmọ!  Nothing fit shake me!"

These and many more thoughts running through my head every single day. The communication decline was sudden and abrupt; viewed texts and no reply, calls ringing on replay😂 and you know how you try to make someone know you don't want to talk to them.

But what if they don't know what to say to you or they are afraid of your reaction? A solid question that I have no answer to but that's the theory I want to stick to. 

I had once told them before the whole fall out that whoever decides to neglect me or discard me would be at a loss because I'm too much of a person to not have in your life😏, Spec lọmọ ! Who dey zuzu? Who wan check am?😂

But still it's hard to come to terms with the fact that this person could be doing well while I'm here feeling sorry for me and my fine face🙂.

I do wish them well but deep down I hope they aren't fine like I am not fine because they have done me all shades of dirty; what I don't think I could do to any other person.

I desperately tired to get their attention but they don't have any for me. I thought I was beginning to be a creepy stalker🥲🤧; always on their necks or in their space, places I didn't need permission to be before. 

It seriously hurts when you try hard to make something happen and it doesn't happen.

Frustration is slowly settling in alongside regret and pain. I would never let unforgiveness come my way because I need my peace of mind but I don't see reasons why I should forgive them later on.

OR

The whole situation is my fault, I said some things I shouldn't have said and it hurt them.

Ghosting me was their best option because they couldn't deal with the pain😪.

They are also hurting and need some time away from me after I hurt them, I'm sorry I did though.

If they ever get to read this; it's my last feasible attempt to get their attention 💔.

I hope they are fine, not hurting and if I did hurt them; I hope they forgive me.

I'm quite fickle minded when it comes to people who are a part of me🙂.

Love, 

Adétólá ❤ 

P.S. Thank you for reading my diary session🤩.

New fiction on its way!!!

 Musical stories;

 Loyal by Simi and Fave

Notebook by Melanie Martinez