L.O.V.E.R.

Who's a lover?

One who is destined to love her?

Or one who wants to love her?

Does he love without question?

Or he loves without reasoning?

She doesn't really understand love

But her lover understands her.

L

"I like you" 

He whispered into her ear. She couldn't understand why he had said that; 'It could be a prank' her doubting mind had opened up a new path. "Don't think I'm joking. I wouldn't lie, I haven't been completely honest with you in the past but this time I'm totally honest. When people talk about not being able live without a person I thought they were just being irrational but now I know how it feels. I can't live without you" his voice was an octave higher but she flinched at every word. "How do you expect me to trust you? I've liked you for awhile but all you did was push me away. How do I know this isn’t one of your tactics to disgrace me" her voice was quiet. His face contorted in pain; he didn't know how to reassure her but didn't want to give up on her. "Take your time, I'll not leave your side for you to know I am sincere" he wasn't relenting. 'What if it's real this time? What if I'm just over thinking everything?' her heart questioned her brain. 

What if Love is Insanity?

Losing control over your own mind.

O

It's been six months and he did stick to her. "Hey baby girl, how were your classes today?" His pearly white teeth glistened in the sunlight. "They weren't stressful" she was always quiet around him. "That's good to know. Are you ready to go home?" He lowered his head to look at her face. "You're always beautiful you know" he was audible enough for her to hear. Her honey coloured eyes lit up and she smiled at him. "I haven't seen you smile like that in the past few months, I'm glad that I got to see that." She was grateful for his perpetual company and his heart melting remarks from time to time but she wasn't sure if she was ready at that time. Her apartment building came to view and they stopped walking. "I'll pick you up tomorrow by 7am. Your classes start by 9am but I want to take you somewhere important." He was smiling like a child who just had candy. "Where are we going?" trust issues in abundance.  "You'll see. Take care of yourself and see you tomorrow" his voice grew distant has he retreated. She smiled and waved frantically at him.

What if Love is Enthusiasm?

Being happy over the littlest things.

V

"I'm ready now" her quiet voice filled the room. "Are you serious?" The happiness was evident in his voice, he had waited one year, two months, two weeks, and four days for these exact words. "Yes I am" she was certain this time around that her love wasn't going to waste; he loved her back so very much. "Can I hug you? " He definitely was ecstatic. She nodded her small head affirmatively. He threw his arms around her tiny frame and inhaled the scent from her hair. "Thank you for letting me love you" his voice was quiet this time around. "Thank you for loving me" her quiet voice matched his tone. She felt safe in his arms; like the world couldn't stand against her anymore, she had someone on her side now, not just anyone but a man who loved her beyond measure. "I had always imagined how you would reply my proposal but I guess my imagination couldn't capture the beauty of everything" he wrapped his arms around her tighter, afraid of her breaking free and running away from him. "I guess that's how it is with loving; you can't predict what happens" her breath was heavy on his chest. They were both breathing heavily and enjoying each other's embrace.

"You know I love you" he spoke quietly. "I love you too" a small smile played on her lips as she responded. 

What if Love is Immeasurable? 

A pint might be too much and a barrel might be too small.

E

The phone kept ringing but he was too lazy to reach out for it. "I'll call her later" he said to himself.

An echo only bounces back when there's a barrier so he definitely forgot to call her because he didn't hear the echo. "I called you yesterday, you didn’t respond" she said subtly. "I'm sorry baby girl; it was just a little bit of work" his excuse wouldn't add up if the work factor was missing. They had sustained their relationship throughout university,  it mustn't end now! "Are we fine?" He asked her; that question was slowly becoming a constant in their conversations and interactions. "I think we are" she said staring out the window of the Café. "I'm sorry, I would work on my replies" his eyes were pleading with her. "I would work on my reactions too" she was still quiet when she spoke. 

What if Love is fickle? 

It's never here or there once it starts to leave.

R

"I'm sorry, I should have paid more attention to you" her normally quiet voice had switched up its tone; she was wailing now. "There were warning signs but I was too angry to notice. I'm sorry my love" she screamed as she held his body in her arms. His cold lifeless body dangled like a rag doll in her arms. "I'm sorry madam but your husband committed suicide" her eyes yielded to darkness when she heard what the doctor said. Suicide? What happened exactly? 

He wasn't always satisfied with himself and he thought he was punishing her alongside; his depression wasn't on the surface after all he was the smiley type. They weren't able to get married before his death but still he was her husband, no scratch that; he was her lover. She stared at the soulless body in her arms and wept silently.  "Could you please come back to me? I promise to be better and treat you better. Don't leave me behind" her voice was quiet once again. It wasn't just quiet, it was weak and so was she.

Love is definitely beautiful 

But What if Love is sad?

Wants satisfaction but acquires it too late.

"What if who I hoped to be was always me?"

"And the Love I fought to feel was always free?"

- Jon Bellion in Stupid Deep